An Open-Letter to the Christian Faith-Based Crowd about Mothers (and Myths):
This one’s for all the women (on Mother’s Day)
Dear Christian Faith-Based Crowd,
It’s almost Mother’s Day. Stop making Jesus (and his followers) look stupid.
First, two disclosures:
- I am part of the faith-based crowd. I can prove it with my engraved name on an AWANA Timothy trophy and keen muscle memory for the actions to every song from “Father Abraham” to “Pharoah, Pharoah.”
Oh, settle down. I’m kidding. (Kind of.)
My faith base is Jesus. I’m a resolute follower. His grace is always sufficient for my imperfect life, a good thing since my salvation is held firm in his redemptive work on the cross. (I know you know John 3:16.)
It took a process of maturity and time and so much Bible-reading and ongoing Biblical history study, but I turned away from my former always-nodding agreement with the faith-based masses (and, to be sure, the faith-based minority).
2. I am a mom. The three children I raise with my husband are the liveliest, hungriest humans I know. Each is a genius in his own way and I love each one more than I love blueberry scones.
Now that I have that out of the way…
As Mother’s Day approaches, it brings with it an anxious awareness of the messages from the church and Christian organizations and radio spots about moms, many of which have no foundation in Scripture.
Super-short digression: (I’m not sure why there are whole sermons glorifying moms. We’re not the ones up for glory. On Mother’s Day or any other. I mean, you can wish me a happy Mother’s Day and give me flowers and let me sit and rest and make food for me. I’m not offended by it. But oh please, no sermons.)
Please stop spreading myths about women and Mother’s Day
Mother’s Day is a secular, made-up holiday.
The holiday is fine, of course. There’s nothing wrong with it. A celebration to honor the person behind the work of motherhood holds good intentions and it’s come to mean a lot to many families.
But Mother’s Day as an official holiday did not exist before 1907. Over the years, it’s become rather embellished with statements by the religious.
Statements such as:
“Being a wife and a mother is a woman’s highest calling.” Over and over you’re literally saying these words. LORD HAVE MERCY ON US ALL.
A woman’s highest calling is the same high calling of all believers: to glorify God. We do this by loving Him with all our hearts, soul, and mind. We do this by serving in His name and sharing with others about Him. All of us. The men and the women. Are we to glorify God as mothers? If we’re a mother, yes. Are women to glorify God as single women? Yes. Are women to glorify God if they don’t have children? Yes. Are we to glorify God if we are single, c̶h̶i̶l̶d̶l̶e̶s̶s̶, free of child-rearing responsibilities, and living our life as video-game developer? You guessed it! Yes. YES! YES! YES!
A few verses:
Matthew 6:33: Seek first his kingdom and righteousness.
Mark 16:15 Preach the gospel. (Preach it, Sisters!)
I Corinthians 7:17 “Each person should live as a believer whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them.” (NIV)
Oh, Christian. Here’s another statement I hear you say:
“Proverbs 31 is the instruction to women about how they are to be a superb wife and a stellar stay-at-home mom.”
…
…
(Ok, I took liberties with that one. But, you get idea because it’s very much in the spirit of the message.)
A look at Proverbs 31
Bullet points ahead!
- Regarding the first nine verses of Proverbs 31 (WHAT? The chapter doesn’t start at verse 10?):
Those first nine verses are a record of instruction TO A KING…
…FROM HIS MOM.
- The mom advises this king, her son, not to destroy his position with his own foolishness.
- She implores him to speak up for those who can’t speak for themselves and to “plead the cause of the poor and the needy.” (NKJV).
This wisdom makes sense and fits with the theme of Proverbs, a book of the Bible in which WISDOM IS A MAJOR THEME.
- Now, regarding verses 10–28: This is where Scripture gets into a description of “a wife of noble character.” Yes, this proverbial Proverbs woman was sure doing an awful lot at the house.
YO! What is up? There isn’t a single thing wrong with staying at the house. I’m staying at the house. Aside from on-site freelance work and being out in the community and oh, yeah AT THE CHURCH ON SUNDAYS AND WEDNESDAYS AND OTHER DAYS SOMETIMES TWICE. But whatever: I’m considered a stay-at-home mom.
- In addition to her strong sewing hands and fabulous food-preppery skills, this woman was controlling the sale of property and managing money. She helped the poor. She was wise. She gave instruction. ALSO, SHE HAD SERVANTS. SERVANTS, I SAY. (Proverbs 31:15)
Take a look at the last few verses of chapter 31.
“A woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Honor her for all that her hands have done.” (verse 31)
- By all means, point to Proverbs 31 when talking about moms and honoring them. But not in the way you have been. Don’t treat the passage as a means to make wifehood and motherhood out to be more than they are. Don’t act like those roles are the road for women to Godliness and please stop saying they are.
(Yes, back then and in that patriarchal culture, a woman’s ability to bear children [specifically, sons] was a big deal. Women who could not have children were described as “barren,” and looked on with contempt.)
To jog your memory and for your reference, here is another verse in a long list of Bible verses that give instruction to ALL Christians:
Another verse:
“Live a life worthy of the calling you have received.” Ephesians 4:1 (NIV)
The second part of Proverbs 31 certainly seems to describe a woman who is living a life worthy of such a calling.
So this chapter, like many hundreds before it, are still based on the theme of wisdom.
Proverbs 31 seems to be communicating: Here’s a picture of what wisdom looks like. What fearing the Lord looks like.
- Care for and minister to your family. Extend your hand — your help, your grace, what you have — to those in need. Be disciplined with your planning and preparation. Avoid laziness.
Fellow Christians, Take care with Proverbs 31, as you should with any other Bible passage.
Finally
Please encourage women to live a life worthy of their calling as missionaries, CEOs, accountants, lawyers, property managers, factory workers, teachers, mechanics, freelancers, and sure…as stay-at-home parents. There are women named in Scripture who were not married and did not (at least on record) have children. There are women whose ministry and obedience weren’t based on marital or parental status.
Ephesians 4:2 (Yes, still the NIV but even those versions differ):
“Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit…”
Please encourage women in their faith and ministry regardless of whether or not they have children.
Sincerely and very much in the faith,
~ Rhonda
